Choosing myself

I believe everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. If not the best, then at least a shot at it. And I think that starts when we choose to see the best of others.

Once we label someone in a good light, it's almost as if they start becoming it.

Especially those who carry a growth mindset. Don't we all want to work with people who see the best in us ~ and us in them?

I like to think the world is perfect. That every human is good. Sometimes they're just in a rough patch. Or they didn't know any better.

But what about the people who've lost their grip on sanity? Or their loved ones? What happens to them?

I recently saw a video of my mom, and while I'm out here living my life, I realised: she's changing. Her skin is aging. And I can't help but feel that creeping sadness.

Because she's growing older.

Even when I was young, I have always prayed ~ just take us to the other world together. I hate this. The part of loving so much and knowing you'll one day have to let go.

Being away from my family, somehow, is like preparing myself for the inevitable. I take it for granted now that I could just call, and they'd pick up. One day, I won't be able to.

But coming home without any significant improvement in my life? That's its own kind of pain. I feel like I should've made their lives easier by now.

I live with reasons for why I haven't, and those reasons ~ they could've been shared more.

But this time, I chose myself.

To live my best life ~ until sorrow comes. Until fear knocks. Until love demands more of me than ambition ever could.

And I hope that when that moment comes, I'm ready.